Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Age Two - Don't Hold Back

I often catch myself admiring my child. I watched each day as she made the transition from being a baby person to being a little person. She has always been independent and social. But I think she realized cause and effect. This tied in with the occasional impulsiveness desire, intense dedication to her friends and dollie, and determination to be self sufficient has caused me to fall even more in love with her. OR is it more complex? It may be that along with the intense love I have also developed admiration and...pride?

I have never been a proud person before. Yes, I have accomplishments but I am always pressing ahead to the next task so there is not much room for pride in what I have done. This, I think is different. I understand that my child is not perfect in the technical seance of the word. But she keeps me in awe.

She is outgoing in a way I am not capable of nor do I hold her back. I instead smile and hope I can learn a thing or two. Yah, a few locals last year have pegged her for a socialite. Often when we arrive at a shop or store it is marked with sales people, cashiers, etc extending a cherry wave with Hello dispite the task they have at hand. It has gotten to the point that as we leave the grocery store my child is waving and announcing bye bye so jubilantly that all the cashiers plus whoever is standing in line all wave and bid farewell. The first time this happened I felt as though we were at a ship launching. And I not being the most socially apt person smiled, said bye bye, while crouching my head lower as I really do not like attention. I had very mixed feelings. I so dearly work against my own personality just so my child can be herself. That is was I selfishly want. For my child to find herself, embrace herself, and go for it.

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