Attachment Parenting

I did not know that the way we cared for our baby had a name, attachment parenting. I have learned a bit from some on line sources such as Dr. Sears . Much of our style just seemed to happen though. We rocked her to sleep, she slept with us and spouse carried her everywhere in a carrier. We also have a Stoke high chair so she can eat right at the table with us. And boy does she eat. We did most of this because we just like being together.

I think this affection is part of the reason why at 14 months she is 32 inches tall and 30 lbs which is much bigger then my spouse or me at this age. Yet, despite her size she stood holding onto furniture at 4.5 months (yes we have photo proof). We have videos of her at six months playing catch while sitting, and at 12 months doing a triple dribble with her little soccer ball. She also had about a dozen words including "cool" which she would screech whenever she saw fluffy socks. I am not totally sure of what to make of it all. But I keep up as best I can. I really did have the preconceived notion that babies were "baby like" longer not mini linebackers at 12 months.

I just finished putting baby to sleep. She laid on her green blanket while listening to some songs I put into a play list on YouTube.com. She loves the Big Green Rabbit and Eric Herman songs. Kind of folksy and I could listen to them again and again. She smiled and smiled. She kicked her legs gently and turned her face to look me in the eyes with a big grin she held her arms around my neck. She just looked so satisfied, happy, and content. She turned away her head, towards the music then once again with joy hugged me and past out.

You know I always wondered what happiness was. My childhood has several rough spots. I think to me happiness is not just running a successful corporation or taking great trips around the world (though they do kick butt even if they are on a tight budget at youth hostels). Nor is it just enjoying my sunflowers that I planted in my backyard or the shade provided by my senior citizen silver maple tree. I believe, for me, happiness is all those great little moments of having the opportunity to appreciate my kid. I am really lucky to have her in my life.

Toddler Bed Co-Sleeping

Our baby slept in a crib in our room for the first month or two. We bought an organic cotton mattress with chemical free wool batting (stuffing) and a rubber tree support in the middle. Rubber is like a substitute for a spring but more comfortable. It fit her crib well. It was thicker then most baby mattresses. But I researched several of them and found that I wanted one because 1. baby would not inhale chemicals 2. I believe a comfortable mattress develops good sleep habits. 3. The mattress could be transferred to a toddler bed and I could get three-four years out of it.

But she gravitated into our bed. It worked out well. She took naps on our bed and slept there at night. It helps that we saved up and bought a king size Japanese style platform bed while I was pregnant. (We now own a whopping 4 pieces of furniture: a kitchen table from a second hand store, a futon in the living room, a dresser and our bed.) We thought our sleep was important enough to spend a bit of cash on a good sleeping set up. We figured that our kid's sleep was just as important and she should value a good nights sleep. I know I am a complete idiot if I don't get sleep. Both she and I walk into door frames when we are tired.

We recently inherited a toddler bed and slid it right up against our bed. Luckily it is a mission style wood bed with slats. Her mattress fit perfectly. We put her nursing pillow on it and she sleeps with her head in the middle (like a lucky horse shoe around her head). She stays on her bed until about 4 or 5am then inches her way onto our bed. We also got her use to sleeping with a stuffed bunny for companionship.

She is now 14 months, has been sleeping on her bed for a month and is doing rather well. Most doctors recommend waiting till the child is 35 inches tall. She was 31 inches at 13 months so she is big for her age though technically too short for a toddler bed. My thinking was that her bed is more like a co-sleeper and she just seemed ready. She was active by 11 months, she would slide to the edge of our bed, stand up as if getting off a chair and come running into the living room after a nap.

She goes for naps and to bed relatively easy. She does whimper when she loses her bottle of water and can't find it on her own in the middle of the night. But she gets plenty of sleep. We never have to wake her in the morning...she wakes us. I have read that bottles of water don't hurt babies at night because there is no sugar to rot out her teeth. And at her first dentist visit he said that her teeth looked great and a bottle of water would not hurts her. We also don't give her juice yet and we do brush her teeth before sleep. She loves brushing her teeth.

I like handing over small tasks for her to take control (though I do watch closely). We make her feel like she does have a choice and when she doesn't, the task is not a task but a chance to accomplish an achievement. We approach goals with enthusiasm.

Carpe Diem!

Socializing and its Benefits

My spouse, after our baby's play-dates left, made a comment that I managed to collect an intellectually stimulating and sociable group of friends for our baby. I stopped for a moment to think. Yes, the parents and the kids were great but it wasn't me that picked them out. I am good at keeping friends but not making friends. (I can be a bit intense.) It was our 1 year old who was going out of her way to smile, hug and vocalize at these children who happen to have cool parents. Then I would pop the question, "Would you want to get the kids together to play?"

This process really has me thinking. It has created a lot of questions and thoughts in general flying through my head. Why was baby attracted to certain kids and not others? Why was it that when baby was making friends with these kids it happened to be that the parents were also the type of people we would want to invite over again and again? Were we finding all these families in the same spot?

Location?...that might be it. We met one boy at the cafe, one near the ice creme shop court yard, and a little girl at... I think while walking by each other.

Speaking of meeting people ! Our baby went up to a little girl with pig tails that was sitting on her mom's lap in the grass. My baby thought it would be great to hold on to the little girl's pig tail...to my dismay...she can be rough. And then I realize this mom look familiar (and really cool). I had to remove baby's hand from her daughter's pig tail a few times. After the third time, I though to myself, I must live under a rock! It was Ani Difranco. She was so understanding, and down to earth.

(Back to the post) I think location is the key to finding playmates that are a good match. We happen to live in the Elmwood Village in Buffalo, NY. It is relatively diverse (compared to the rest of Western NY). The community has a variety of incomes and jobs. There are artists, college students, museum junkies, skateboard enthusiast, CEOs, investment bankers, bakers, shop keepers, theater goers, engineers, architects...etc. It really does seem too great at times. It is even family friendly but at the same time has a healthy night life. The community is supportive and creative. There are 14,000 of us jammed into a small area on the west side of the city.

The next thought in my head is that a diverse-vibrant community begets great people which produce well balanced playmates.

I don't know if I should smile and be grateful or be worried at the thought of my baby needing a Rolodex to help keep track of all her playmates. It is all good.

In summary I realized that these people in my community will have a major influence on my kid! These are the kids she will go to school with , talk with, and maybe date. When she is a teen she will be more receptive to other teens then me. I just paused. I am really, really grateful for living in such an environmentally and socially counscious neighborhood.

Gardening - Part Two

There is a local gardening store called Urban Roots here in Buffalo, NY that I buy pretty much all my stuff from. They carry everything from seeds, pots and starter peat moss cups to trees, plants, bird and bat houses.

Well, in my efforts to become an Uber Urban Farmer we (spouse and baby) bought: peat moss seed starter cups, seed starter soil (organic and no animal by products), organic seeds, bamboo sticks
(to use as trellises), terracotta pots, organic top soil and twine.

All the food plants we have we started in the peat moss cups with the starter soil. What is great is once the plant has sprung you can dig a hole and pop the whole cup right into the ground. We used our office/storage space as a nursery. Then transferred most of the plants to a raised area of dirt in the back yard. We kept several of the small plants in the house and put them in the terracotta pots with the organic soil. Top photo is combination pumpkin-bean-sunflowers in peat moss cups. Bottom photo is pole beans started in peat moss cups.

The most important notes are: 1. Read instructions on the seeds and peat moss cups. They are easy to understand and to the point. 2. Keep seed soil damp but not dripping wet.

My beans got a little dry but we saved them and my spouse had is celontro drowned in the rain but again they were saved.

I just had a flash back...I remember my mom telling me about how her in laws advised my father to not marry her and to marry the other girl who was an accountant. Until...They found out my mom was a gardener. Her in laws seemed to think that it was more important for my father to marry a woman who could teach the rest of the family how to grow tomatoes. Apparently, growing tomatoes was a more valued skill.

Eco Reader

Just out of curiosity I looked up what countries the readers of this blog were from. Here are the top 5:

1. United States 2. Canada 3. United Kingdom 4. Australia 5. Singapore

Some of the cities are (not is order of readership):

San Leandra, Baltimore, Lexington, Portland, London, Boston, Washington, Oakton...and many more.

Thank you for your loyalty !

Chemical Debate

Better off safe then sorry...

Of 168 studies on Bisphenol A, 132studies claimed the chemical does damage. The 36 test that found BPA safe were funded by corporations. (Bill Moyers, Journal May 25, 2008).

"Especially at high temperatures in, say, microwave ovens or dishwashers, BPA can leach out of those cans and bottles -- and wind up inside the people who consume the contents. More than 90% of people 6 and older have detectable levels of BPA in their bodies, according to a 2003-04 survey conducted by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention." Sun-Sentinel New Paper

The Sun- Sentinel Report Continues:

"A draft report issued last month by the National Toxicology Program raised new red flags -- and consumer alarm -- about the potential harm BPA may do.

The report, based on a review of nearly 1,000 papers, expressed "some concern" that in fetuses, infants and children, typical human exposure may cause changes in behavior, in the brain, in the prostate and mammary glands, and in the age at which females reach puberty. Of the five possible levels of concern the report might have chosen -- from "serious" to "negligible" -- "some" is the third, or middle, level."

I don't use plastic bottles, storage containers, or teethers (teething toys for babies). I figure that it cost no more and sometimes even less to use wood toys, cotton dolls and animals, Pyrex storage containers, glass bottles and stainless steel.

I am prone for feeling guilty. Each time I see my baby drinking out of her stainless steel sippycup I feel good. I feel like..."I am preventing chemical that can potentially cause harm from getting into my baby". This way I don't have to worry about my child getting sick someday from something I did. I do feel it is my responsibility to help my child be healthy.

Using plastic is a choice. Plastic does have a role in our lives. I choose to use plastic in parts of my life like safety or medical equipment but I choose against using it for clothing, shoes, food or drink.

Eco Homes

I am a firm believer in a healthy home. I have an old home that I upgraded with energy star appliances, only natural building materials, reused house parts, and low VOC paint & stain. I don't use vinyl, only ceramic or stone tile. The house was originally built with hard wood floors. The floors are little stained here & there but I don't mind and neither do my tenants.

It is a 4 unit victorian. Each tenant gets an eco friendly care package when they sign a lease. It includes CF bulbs, a recycling bin and cleaning supplies. I try to make it easy on them.

While I worked at an environmental testing laboratory I processed testing samples from all over the world. It often amazed me what people dump on the ground and in water. I often worked with different chemicals to process the samples. Chemicals included freon, chlorine, acetone, benzene...etc. There are special rules for handling these types of chemicals. There are also fume hoods (like a big vent that sucks out air) to remove chemicals that are emitted into the air in the room.

But there are not fume hoods in houses. So, people breath in all sorts of chemicals such as formaldehyde, chlorine, solvents...etc. I wonder if they understand what is happening to the air in their home and their lungs? Or do they have the attitude "It won't happen to me."

What is "funny" is that many people, the average consumer, doesn't really know what they are getting themselves into. They often trust the companies to provide them with safe product. Or these people think there are strict laws and inspections of products that protect the American consumer. People don't realize that the laws in the U.S. are made only after several people have been harmed over a number of years. And usually because someone complained. We don't have a preventative maintenance types of culture.

I always recommend two classes to all college students, environmental chemistry (not really a chemistry class) to understand the world around them and how one thing effect another and clinical microbiology in order to understand cause and effect. A person would think they know all about cause and effect. But when dealing with a chemical or microbes that they can not see, they probably are not thinking about it, often until it is too late.

Here is a cool article about a person who moved into an eco friendly apartment not for health but for a convenient location on Treehugger.com....Apartments