Warnning !

Warning ! Practicing Attachment Parenting techniques may lead to affectionate independent child, be fore warned.

It was one of those days. It started this afternoon when my child was making a Lego tower. She would stack a few blocks then step back, place both her hands on her hips tilted slightly back, pause staring like an artist trying to get the image perfect, then utter, "Mmm No". The blocks, apparently were not quit right. Then adjust the blocks and repeat the above mentioned actions. I enjoyed the moment.

Then later, I had my husband move the beds so I could vacuum. Our daughter's toddler bed was pushed up flush against my side of the bed. My husband took what he thought was an opportunity to move the toddler bed 4 feet away from my side of the bed. But I was not sure what to make of it. I had expected to move her bed sometime this year. But not yet. Though, her vocabulary is larger than average (and in two languages) her enunciation is weak. As far as I was concerned she could sleep next to me until her speech was on par with the other children her age. For me, her speaking clearly was the sign I needed to have in order to acknowledge my child's accent from baby to little kid. She just turn 2 yrs old this spring. My husband didn't see it that way any more despite the fact he was the one to recommend she be in our room until she can talk and walk to get us if she needed us. He was not happy about her climbing onto him and the occasional kicks.

Later that evening as we got closer to bed time her daddy went through the normal 5 story books (hence the large vocabulary) then I did the sing along songs. While she was sitting on her bed playing I took a moment to go change into some pajamas. When I returned, there was my daughter standing between the beds. She was doing a little dance to the music that was playing. She threw her arms out in front of her motioning to my PJs and said "Oh, mommy" smiled and repeated a few times. She loved my lounge pants with Japanese styled cheery tree branches and blossoms. I felt as though we were out shopping for cloths and she was exclaiming 'These are the ones'. She wanted to tie the draw string at my collar and made a series of twists "knots". The moment felt good. I felt we were connecting. She was trying to care for me just as I dote on her. I thought to myself that we are going to have a long relationship, a tender one.

We did a few dances. Then it was time. I said it was time to turn the lights out. She crawled into her bed, hugged her doll and I flipped off the lights. I then went to her bed and half laid down with her. I stroked her hair and she petted my head. And she passed out. Something was a miss though. I was so proud of her. She was so independent and even returned the affections I gave so freely. I left her bed and was both happy and sad. She'll always be my baby. My very very independent baby.

Toddler Bed Co-Sleeping

Our baby slept in a crib in our room for the first month or two. We bought an organic cotton mattress with chemical free wool batting (stuffing) and a rubber tree support in the middle. Rubber is like a substitute for a spring but more comfortable. It fit her crib well. It was thicker then most baby mattresses. But I researched several of them and found that I wanted one because 1. baby would not inhale chemicals 2. I believe a comfortable mattress develops good sleep habits. 3. The mattress could be transferred to a toddler bed and I could get three-four years out of it.

But she gravitated into our bed. It worked out well. She took naps on our bed and slept there at night. It helps that we saved up and bought a king size Japanese style platform bed while I was pregnant. (We now own a whopping 4 pieces of furniture: a kitchen table from a second hand store, a futon in the living room, a dresser and our bed.) We thought our sleep was important enough to spend a bit of cash on a good sleeping set up. We figured that our kid's sleep was just as important and she should value a good nights sleep. I know I am a complete idiot if I don't get sleep. Both she and I walk into door frames when we are tired.

We recently inherited a toddler bed and slid it right up against our bed. Luckily it is a mission style wood bed with slats. Her mattress fit perfectly. We put her nursing pillow on it and she sleeps with her head in the middle (like a lucky horse shoe around her head). She stays on her bed until about 4 or 5am then inches her way onto our bed. We also got her use to sleeping with a stuffed bunny for companionship.

She is now 14 months, has been sleeping on her bed for a month and is doing rather well. Most doctors recommend waiting till the child is 35 inches tall. She was 31 inches at 13 months so she is big for her age though technically too short for a toddler bed. My thinking was that her bed is more like a co-sleeper and she just seemed ready. She was active by 11 months, she would slide to the edge of our bed, stand up as if getting off a chair and come running into the living room after a nap.

She goes for naps and to bed relatively easy. She does whimper when she loses her bottle of water and can't find it on her own in the middle of the night. But she gets plenty of sleep. We never have to wake her in the morning...she wakes us. I have read that bottles of water don't hurt babies at night because there is no sugar to rot out her teeth. And at her first dentist visit he said that her teeth looked great and a bottle of water would not hurts her. We also don't give her juice yet and we do brush her teeth before sleep. She loves brushing her teeth.

I like handing over small tasks for her to take control (though I do watch closely). We make her feel like she does have a choice and when she doesn't, the task is not a task but a chance to accomplish an achievement. We approach goals with enthusiasm.

Carpe Diem!